Never before have I seen a play in an NFL game be reviewed after the next play has happened. As far as I can tell, once the ball is snapped on a play, the play that happened before the snapping of the ball can no longer be questioned by video review and overturned. But that is what happened tonight near the end of one of the most insane matches I have ever watched.
Not that it would have mattered anyway. The Cowboys were going to get as many shots at a field goal as it would take to allow them to win that game in Buffalo tonight. Do you remember the last time a team had that many more turnovers than the opponent and won? Romo turned the ball over something like 56 times, yet the Cowboys won. Amazing.
The only thing that could have made that game better for the subjective fan is if John Madden would have been commenting on it, so we could have listened as John passed out in disbelief at what was happening on the field to his new love, Tony Romo. Even if he had not passed out, you know he would have been so drunk by the end that he probably would have ended up singing Irish folk songs while he chewed the meat off of one of Al Michaels’ arms.
Nick Folk. You know, even if Dallas’s newest hero had missed that second attempt at the 53-yard field goal winner, he would have been given a third attempt. That’s right. There was a defensive holding call made during the play, and the game can not end on a defensive penalty. The gods could have toyed with us all night long. Thankfully, they were merciful and let the game finally end. And here’s why:
The football gods love John Madden. How they can stand to look at John’s blubbery jowls bouncing madly around that gaping, greasy-fat lip-surrounded hole where most humans have a mouth, I’ll never quite understand. I can’t even watch the Sunday night game on HDTV. The realness of that head, that pallorific face, is too much for me. I can stand to watch Madden only on regular TV – when I can’t see the chunks of food caught in the cravasses that crease inches deep through the canvassed globules that form his cheeks and chin. Yuck. But then, I am no football god, so what do I know?
Anyway, there was no way in hell they were not going to give the big guy another reason to complete his divorce from Brett Favre and carry on his disgusting new relationship with Tony Romo. Did anyone else notice, when the Bears and Packers were playing on Sunday night, that John Madden was comparing Favre to Tony Romo?! I practically fell out of my buddy’s couch.
Now, everyone knows that John has been so deeply in love with Brett Favre for years that no one even makes fun of it anymore. Well, last night, John announced to the world that he is moving on. In with the new, out with the old, seemed to be the point he was making.
“He’s playing just like Tony Romo plays.”
“He looks just like Tony Romo out there.”
“Now that was a patented Tony Romo move right there.”
Those were some of the insane things John Madden was spouting last night about Brett Favre. As if Tony freakin’ Romo had patented the moves that are Brett’s signatures. It was disgusting. I thought it was crazy until I remembered that my buddy Jeff said something very interesting about Mr. Madden the other day. He no longer cares if what he says is going to make sense. All he is doing is coming up with lines that will be used in the next Madden Football game.
I would not have thought of that, because I waste my time in other ways. Give me some hot chicks.
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